The longest shortest month of my life.

It has been a long, long month, even though it's a short one! In the last 24 days the following has happened:

1. Sarah got her first cold of the month. She was a typical poor, sweet baby toddler, so I fell behind. We cuddled and watched Mickey and read stories. We were just about to cancel our attendance at a friend's toddler party when.....

2. Greg got hit by a car. I'd woken up from a short nap I'd taken by a ringing phone, and a husband giving me minimal details, but saying he'd been hit by a car. This lead to calling hospitals, sisters in my ward and family while trying to get over there and have someone car for sick toddler. We finally got everyone down to bed after medicines and prayers and groceries when....

3. I found out I'm expecting baby number 2. I'd been feeling a little nauseous and really tired, and had other reasons to suspect that we might be expecting. This was great news, and I was relieved that I didn't have a stomach bug which could be shared by Greg and Sarah. Especially since the next day....

4. We had Sarah's birthday party. I made Minnie Mouse cupcakes with frosting ( a big deal, because I don't frost things. Ever.) and Sarah had the time of her life. She loved playing with the balloons and her cousins and aunts and uncles, and of course, Grandma and Papa! The next week....

5. Greg gets a job offer for another job. We really like the insurance on his current job, so I was really, really hesitant to move forward with the new job. After several long days of praying and thinking through solutions, we decide not to take the job. Just in time for....

6. Valentine's Day. With Greg's arm in a sling, our original plan of dinner and dancing was out. I was also really morning sick, so the Mexican food we'd planned didn't sound good. Greg was super hesitant to go out with me, and I wondered why until the UPS truck showed up and delivered flowers he'd ordered. I was super surprised and thrilled he'd though of me. We went somewhere else and had a great time. Everything was a struggle to get back to normal when all of the sudden...

7. Sarah got another cold! She's not super sick this time, just enough to keep us from going to church where she might spread the cold to any number of her friends. I feel a bit guilty because I'm supposed to help in the Nursery class she attends, but my guilt is lessened the next day when....

7. We found out we're not expecting a baby, but babies. We're having twins. On one level, this makes me feel better, because I don't feel like so much of a wimp because I'm struggling to get the non phone call, non paperwork for above mentioned incidents done.  On another level, this adds a ton of to dos to my list. I do have plenty of offers for help, but some of it I just have to do on my own. We're only zoned in our condo for 4 people. Babies will make 5, so I have to move, preferably before my OB puts me on bed rest in just 17 weeks. I am now looking for somewhere else to live. We do have a few companies coming to look at our house this week, but they're just going to have to live with the current state. I feel like I'm doing all I can, and am contending with a super destructive toddler.

I think sometimes we have a tendency, me especially, to feel guilty when life doesn't measure up to our expectations. One of my big priorities before all of this was trying to keep the house reasonably clean, without Greg's help as much as possible, because he's working full time, going to school 3/4 time and serves in a very time demanding role in our church. I guess this post is really more for me. I feel like I'm in denial about this month and the fact that it's actually been REALLY HARD. We've had a lot of help, and I'm really grateful for all the offers for continued help, but right now, I'm still trying to process what's going on. I have no idea what help I need, so it's hard to know what to say when people ask if there is "anything we can do to help." The only one who knows what  help we'll need, and who can help us get through this on all levels is the Savior. I have faith that he is helping us, even when I'm not the mom and wife I want to be.