Painting the Roses Red

     Let's face it, I'm a mess. I am wearing a trash bag over my shirt and my hands are covered in red spots. I may or may not have vine ripened tomato colored highlights in my hair. The door jamb is pink and let's just say it's a good thing we're re tiling the entry way. Why does it look like I've committed murder by stabbing? Because we got a letter from the home owners association.
     We've lived in our condo for almost two years now with the same white, neat and clean front door, which, because of  the fence surrounding our unit, is barely visible from the parking lot. So we were fairly surprised when we got a notice stating that our front door had to be red and we had a week to do it. I am a stickler for rules, even if I disagree with them, so the notice sent me into a near state of obsession. 
     When we went off to home depot, the budget nut kicked in when I looked at the price of paint. I was thrilled to find a bucket of red paint in the oops pile for only $7. It was even exterior paint. With some paint tools and our bucket of paint, we checked out and went home.
     I grew up mostly in a series of rental homes and so painting conjured up images of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin white washing the family fence, making a game out of a chore and having a blast. Sarah, the ten month old house destruction artist, was taking a nap and I had Pinterest directions, so how hard could it be?
     The first coat went on and if the roller didn't quite get enough paint to cover the snow white door, so what? I knew I had at least two more coats to go!  I waited the half hour the directions on the internet suggested (and yes, I really did sit around watching paint dry!) and tried for the second coat. I guess I should have waited a bit longer because the first coat came off with the paint! I was horrified but what could I do but add more paint! I waited the half hour and added a third coat.  Now I'm looking at the door, and it is definitely red, but not the more subtle red of the neighbors' doors. Santa would be proud. Rudolph could hide his nose! Bulls may be a problem with the brightness of this red! This streaky, almost wood grained look on my steel front door. I feel like I really messed up somewhere. The roller looked like I was painting on ceiling popcorn and the brush looked like lines. Next time, I think I'll leave this "honey do!" to the very talented honey. But I may want to cover up that floor before he gets home... Re-tiling here I come!